As a female I find myself checking for growths and oddities in my body on a regular basis; cancer runs in my family and is one of those back burner pressures in my life. The thought of actually finding something makes me sweaty and uncomfortable, like waiting at the dentist’s office or doing my taxes. I’m not sure which would horrify me more, having my body invaded by a tumor, or believing I had a tumor and later discovering my body had become a private arboretum. On Wednesday of last week a man in Russia, who believed he was suffering from a cancerous tumor in his lung, discovered a five centimeter fir tree growing inside his chest instead.
My big brother once told me that an apple tree was growing out of my stomach. At the time I believed him, but my mom assured me later that stomach acid would kill any seeds that made it to my internal nether regions. Inhaling a seed never occurred to us as a possibility. I still feel a little creeped out by this; am I going to have to wear one of those doctor’s masks outside from now on? There is enough to worry about between cancer and terrorism and midterms and the economy……now I have to think about the fertility levels of my lung tissues?
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