Henry David Thoreau, Emily Dickinson and Walt Whitman were good friends of mine growing up, their voices whispering about nature and beauty in simplicity, about the emptiness of existence and the fulfillment found in loneliness. Paradoxically i also grew up loving Barbie and playing dress up with costume jewelry and make up pilfered from my mom. Keep in mind that I played with Barbies up until I was 12, albeit behind closed doors. By that point I was familiar with Thoreau, Whitman and Dickinson, even though we weren't as close as we are now. The point is that I feel a tug between the Thoreau-esque part of me that wants to sell everything and live in a yurt and the part of me that wants to spend $80 on a purse (I'm a college student, i don't even try to pretend like i could justify the purchase of an accesoy above the very generous limit of $100).
Ansel Adams is a photographer that I have always connected with. Taken in black and white, Adams' photographs illicit traces of feelings we didn't know we had and draw the viewer in through the use of shadows, symmetry, persepctive and generally mind blowing landscapes. One of my personal favorites has always been "Rose and Driftwood" but I posted two others to compare and contrast instead; much the same way I have been comparing and contrasting myself. One is a photograph of tree roots, the other an arial view of freeway passes in L.A. The two "objects" photographed reflect eachother in designand both serve "neccesary" purposes in life. Roots provide nutrients and stability as though they are the freeways of the natural world. Freeways make trade, travel and consumption that much easier, the human construction of a root base.
For me these two pictures bring up questions about my own conspicuous consumptiom and whether I am really doing my part or merely imparting a slightly smaller amount of damage to my enviornment than a handful of others. I can see the beauty of freeway passes, L.A. and New York and Portland. Imagine all night Chinese takeout, Broadway shows, fashuon week, art museums and jazz clubs blue with smoke and beatnik incense. I can see how flashing neon lights and towering buildings can seem magical, mystical and sear itself onto the eyeball. But I aslo know the earthy scent of the redwoods and the heady drunkeness that accompanies the scent. I know hoe the tops of little red mushrooms sometimes look like faries peeking out at dusk and how a pristine beach free of litter can feel both alien and like coming home. Empty woods make me feel like the first person to walk across hallowed ground and rainbows feel like personal presents.
If I had to make a choice I think i would choose the roots over the freeways; the redwoods over the billboards. I think the flashing lights would make my head hurst enventually, and a sky scraper could give me a nose bleed. I love chinese food, but too much MSG and my brain might melt, you never know. The redwoods soothe my soul and titillate my imagination. a clean beach stretching farther than my limited eyes can see makes me feel rejuvenated, like I could accomplish anything. If I had to choose the purse or the yurt I'd take the yurt. I can still keep the shoes though....right? Haha.